First, staying at home is lonely. For a guy whose major hobbies are playing guitar and writing poems, there aren't people knocking down my door to go out on the town. Besides that, my daughter does not prefer going to loud, busy places. Let me rephrase that; I don't like taking my daughter to crowded, loud and obnoxious places. Social interaction based on my choice of hobby is limited.
Next, when you live in a more conservative town, it seems that there aren't as many stay-at-home dads, nor groups for dads. This is probably more related to my own social network, or significant lack thereof, but of the parenting groups I've come across, they are specifically called "mom's groups". This is pretty dejecting. I won't say that I've ever been turned down from joining a mom's group because I've never even tried to join one. Quite frankly, I'm not particularly interested in hanging out with a bunch of moms all day. I mean let's be honest, though I'm extremely involved in my daughter's life, I'm not interested in "mom talk".
This next item obviously will vary from family to family, but during the day, I'm the parent which means that I'm the one who says "no" all day, and redirects, and cooks and plays and walks and whatever else we do all day long. Unfortunately, I'm not mom. So when mom comes home from work, our daughter immediately abandons my umbrella of authority, and becomes mommy's girl. I can hardly complain about this because it gives me a break I've craved all day, but I can't help throwing myself a pity party in the corner as my daughter has apparently forgotten about me. I probably shouldn't complain about this, but part of me can't help wondering what it is about mom that dad can never fulfill. If she stayed at home and I was gone all day, I doubt the roles would reverse. She would greet me when I got home, but still be mommy's girl. It's not a competition, but I can't help wondering how to compete at times.
The final item on today's list is when I recap daily activities with mom once she gets home. When my daughter and I go out to play, I am pretty over-protective; I'm not embarrassed to admit it because I'm constantly swirling around her as we walk, and anyone can clearly see I have apron string issues. But still, I manage to put my child in some kind of danger that I am completely oblivious to. So when my wife comes home and I tell her what we did, what seems like 75% of the time, my wife will express "YOU DID WHAT?!?" and proceed to tell me how bad of a decision I made that day. In general, she's right, and up until that point, I thought we had a pretty nice and safe day. Silly me. I'm apparently not as protective as I thought.
Today being a rant day, I want to conclude by expressing how incredibly grateful I am to have the opportunity to be able to watch my toddler grow before my eyes. But to anyone out there who envies my situation, you should know that poop is just as stinky on this side of the fence.
No comments:
Post a Comment