Words on paper. Dirty Paper.

I've been lacking motivation as of late. The problem with this is that I'm really un-fun to be around when I lack motivation. Do you enjoy hanging out with someone who is tired and boring all day? Me neither. My poor daughter gets the blunt of it because I don't have the motivation to think of fun games to play, so in turn I'm chasing her around telling her to put down anything and everything she can get her hands on. If I had the energy to direct her attention to something worth playing with, that would at least buy a little bit of time for me to sit and feel sorry for myself.

As my profile suggests, my interest is in writing stories. Besides taking care of my beautiful child, the only thing I really get to do where I have a sense of accomplishment is in writing stories. They are all mine, and I plucked them out of my brain at the right moment. But when I can't seem to come up with anything, I definitely spiral into a dark mood.

The funny thing is that if I start writing about random things on my mind, I can eventually uncover something I find enjoyable enough to pursue. A month ago, I made a goal for myself to put "words on paper". Every day I would write something. Maybe it was something silly, but every day I would put words on paper. For the most part, I've followed this rule. But lately even my words on paper have been exceedingly dull. Hardly worth writing, and certainly not worth reading.

I made a new goal today. If words on paper isn't doing it for me, then I need to sketch stuff. Words on paper. Lines on paper. Let's just call it "dirty paper". Every day, I will dirty paper. That sounds kind of gross. I'll try to think of a better name for my goal.

Sometimes it takes a reframing of the mind to get back on track. I think I'm feeling better already.